Kim Cayer

 Entertainer, writer, author  

Kim Cayer

Kim Cayer has been a professional entertainer for thirty years. In the start of her career, she also wrote screenplays and plays, one of which, "Memories of Marilyn," toured most of Canada. 

In addition, she compiled the works of her mother, a small-town newspaper columnist. Choice Joyce went on to sell out all the copies printed.  

Kim is still impersonating Marilyn Monroe, still performing at children's events, but these days the children are almost grown and the writing bug is back.

Besides a couple children's plays that have seen performance time (The Petting Zoo and Saving Enviro Mint) and the e-book she's published (available at, Dirty Numbers, Kim is getting set to launch No Fire Escape in Hell and working on a new book. 

The Interview

Kim Cayer Dirty Numbers


Dirty Numbers is based on a true story. Why did you want to tell it?

KC: You know that adage, "truth is stranger than fiction?" When you go to a job where every day (hell, every half-hour) your mind is blown by the sexual weirdness in this world, and if you called yourself a writer, this job's tawdry side was just waiting to be told.

I must say, you started off the book rather racy. Was that done on purpose?

KC: Not at all. You may call it racy at the beginning, but this is a non-fiction story. And it may be almost overwhelming at the start but you will see throughout the book it's all part and parcel of the job. If I wrote about it, you can bet it happened.

After you finished writing Dirty Numbers and you read it for the first time did you think that you had exposed too much about a job you use to do?

KC: Are you saying I'm gonna get sued? (joke) No, I didn't name any names and anybody can do the math to see how lucrative this business can be. What I did try to expose is that there are actual human beings involved in this work—the main character who has to deal with the first call, the "phone-mates" who have to make the calls, and the owners of the business. Some get hurt in the process, lose their own sexuality and damage relationships.

Were there times you found yourself laughing at some of the things you wrote or you said to yourself, maybe I shouldn’t have written that?

KC: You should see the pile of stuff I left out! Every day was a laugh riot. You had to laugh to keep from crying.

A reviewer of your book said,“First novel from a writer with a strong narrative voice and quirky eye. Forget 50 Shades of Boring.” How did that review make you feel? 

KC: I wanted to bear his grandchildren (joke). Obviously it's great to be compared to a current best-seller, but I have not read the series. I hear it's a very sexy book, and that isn't really my choice of reading material. Yes, my book is about raw sex, but it's not "sexy."

Did you face any publishing challenges with this book?

KC: How much space do I have left? Obviously authors would like to see their books in hardcover or paperback. This topic, however, was brutally hard for me to discuss with potential agents or publishers. Imagine having your first meeting with Mr. Bigwig and within five minutes words like bondage, blow jobsand busty blondes are leaving your lips. It's just not my style. So back into the filing cabinet with Dirty Numbers? I just really wanted to get it off my mind and move on to my next project. In the nick of time, a friend turned me onto this thing called self-publishing on any e-book site. That seemed to be the least painless route to follow. The site I chose really helped me along. I'm quite computer illiterate. I may go this route again.

Any writing projects in the making?

KC: I have one completely ready to go, don't ask me why I'm sitting on it. It's entitled No Fire Escape in Hell. There is also another one that's maybe a quarter finished with the working title of 2004 Suzuki Swift. Both fictional.

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